The Hell League, Week 17: The Final Boss

James concludes this year's Hell League analysis with a breakdown of the Championship game and a draft dissection of how we got here — where was Justin Tucker drafted? Which kickers helped the most?

Photo by Loren Elliott/Getty Images

Every week, James Pogatshnik updates us on the progress of the Hell League, a boutique fantasy league for listeners of the Norse Code Podcast. For more on the nature of the league and how it developed, read James’ first piece.

One of the most frequently asked questions about the Hell League is regarding what the draft looks like. I get questions such as "when does Justin Tucker get selected every year?" and "when do teams start drafting kickers?". As a result, I decided to analyze this year's draft to determine the sources of success for playoff teams and whether Justin Tucker's performance can transform a team from the first overall pick to the playoffs.

Unsurprisingly, Justin Tucker was chosen as the number one overall pick by Kirk’s Phattest Dumpy. Tucker has consistently averaged 44.13 points over 15 games, which is an impressive feat. The Baltimore Ravens have relied on him to kick a field goal in every game this year, although only one of those attempts was from fifty yards or more.

Last year, Tucker led the league with 14 attempts from fifty-plus yards. Additionally, he has missed only one extra point this year. Overall, he has performed exceptionally well as the first overall pick, ranking eighth in average points among kickers. Interestingly, the top-ranked kicker in terms of average points is Brett Maher with 51.83, although his sample size is relatively smaller due to his release from the Rams after week 7.

The next kicker selected in the draft was Daniel Carlson of the Oakland Raiders, chosen at number four. He has averaged 31.61 points per game, ranking 25th overall among kickers.

Younghoe Koo was selected at number seven, with an average of 43.12 points that puts him at ninth overall. Interestingly, seven out of the twelve teams in the league drafted kickers in the first four rounds, and four of those teams made it to the championship side of the bracket. Surprisingly, the team with the first overall pick finished with a 6-8 record, placing them seventh in the regular season.

Expanding beyond just this league and including the other seven, I found that only one team that selected Justin Tucker as their number one pick is playing for the championship. His average draft position was 2.63, and the lowest he dropped to was number eight. Despite being considered a unanimous "can't miss" pick, only ONE TEAM that opted for him is competing for the championship.

As an aside, I did attempt to trade for Justin Tucker in the middle of the season in the Hell League. I tried to trade Justin Jefferson and another player for Tucker solely for the sake of doing it. Sadly the trade was rejected and I was heartbroken. Heartbroken all the way to the finals, that is!

In the finals, my beloved Fighting Wine Towels defeated the scrappy Stolen Carr to advance to the league championship. Greg Zuerlein's 69.2 points played a pivotal and nice role in leading the Wine Towels to victory, with a combined 74.2 kicking points compared to Carr's 50.6.

The game remained evenly matched until Amari Cooper went all out and collected 51.5 points. Interestingly, the Wine Towels decided to cut Cameron Dicker earlier in the week in favor of Ka'imi Fairbairn. While Fairbairn only scored 5 points, Dicker impressively produced 137 points. Clearly, it was not my wisest choice.

Moving on to the other team competing for the championship, the Vikings Kicker's Cursed Amulet caused an upset by defeating the Anime Porn Guy. Notably, Koo and Moody collectively earned 142.2 kicking points, which significantly contributed to the Amulet's victory.

On the other hand, the Chiefs' scoring struggles began to affect Harrison Butker, resulting in negative -13 points. Although Butker's performance couldn't have come at a worse time, it would not have made a difference in overcoming this absolute blowout. Surprisingly, the Amulet defeated the Anime Porn Guy three times this year, which is incredibly impressive considering the randomness of this league.

However, this wasn't the most significant blowout of the playoffs or the week. Luke Braun's The Coin was ruthlessly defeated by Super Bowl Champion Teddy Bridgewater, with the margin being an astonishing 282.74 points. Eddy Pineiro's contribution resulted in the team collectively earning -67.6 points. Truly remarkable!

Now, it's time for the main event! These two teams split their series during the regular season, and now they find themselves battling for the title. Both quarterbacks have been struggling lately, so the question is whether Lawrence will make a comeback against a truly terrible Carolina defense or if Dak will return to his MVP-level performance against the Lions team that the Vikings nearly defeated with a quarterback who was prone to turnovers.

Yahoo does not believe that the Jets will be able to get much out of Zuerlein on Thursday night, as the Cleveland team has given up the fewest points to kickers in the league.

Despite putting up zero points twice and negative points once, Zuerlein has averaged 50.34 this season. Fairbairn, on the other hand, has averaged 50.36, although his sample size is smaller due to an injury which we covered in last week's piece. These are the top two signed kickers in the league.

Meanwhile, the Amulet hopes for a great game from Koo and Moody. Koo will be playing against Chicago, which has allowed the 11th most kicking points this year, while Moody will be going up against San Francisco, which has allowed the 3rd most points.

It may ultimately come down to the defenses, with Jacksonville playing against Carolina and Buffalo going up against New England. Both teams have strong defenses that will be facing atrocious offenses, except for last week in the case of both teams.

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This league is open to everyone to view if you’d like to follow the action online: 

https://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/f1/549771/

Good luck to everyone (still excluding Don) and we’ll be back for the finals next week!